Self Injury?

Well to start, im a gay 13 year old teen living in a reall harsh city named East Saint Louis. Everyone there is just so phobic it's heartbreaking. I'm in school & I can't be who I am because of what everybody thinks of Gays. To make myself feel better, I cut myself. It's never the answer but it makes me feel somewhat better about myself. It takes my mind off the emotional pain that I feel, and more focus on the physical pain. It doesn't make any since, but that's the only thing I can do. Sometimes I feel like i'm a rat in a world full of snakes. I hate myself & I imagine what my life would be like if I wasn't like this. I'm 13 7 I shouldn't be stressing myself the way I do. When I dont cut myself I have these crazy meltdowns where I cry myself to sleep some nights. All the boys here hate me so much that they're willing to kill me just knowing that they just got rid of another disgusting ******. I need help & I need it quick because right now i'm really on Suicide watch.